As social creatures, the need to belong and gravitate to our tribe, religion, political faction and the groups of our choosing, is part of our biological behavioral needs. We as human’s rely on each other to trade and barter to survive and reciprocate to one another. How we communicate that, is through language, whether its verbal or nonverbal. Its vital for our need to survive so we are not in isolation whether it’s to vent to a friend to regulate our emotions, or it could be as big as filling our security needs for love and relationships. Language is also used for gossip which counter intuitively, helps as connect with one another, even if its to talk negatively about another person. We feel more connected because we now have a common cause whether if its speaking negatively to boost one’s own ego or speaking highly about someone to get inspired. Overall, it brings us closer together, and is one of the greatest inventions that humans ever came up with. But it can also hinder you from taking action towards your goals. Sounds strange but here’s what I mean.
I’m a big fan of Dr. Alok aka Dr. K’s Youtube channel, Health Gamer GG. He was a Harvard psychiatrist who became a monk for years, and now mixes the principles of Eastern and Western philosophies to help battle people’s addictions. I came across one of his topics, that to me, deems to be true just from my personal experience. He says that language is the substitute for action because when you speak about your plans, it depletes the “take action” chemicals in your brain like dopamine. Not going to get specific with the science because I don’t want to butcher the reference. To me, that translated into taking the easy way out instead of actually taking action, which we all know everyone has a hard time with. We fantasize about all these plans in our minds and think about the best case scenarios of our optimistic plans. The problem is, is that people overhype themselves to the point where they tell everyone about it, and when it’s time to execute, they’ve literally talked themselves out of it. They used whatever motivation they had by taking the easy way out unconsciously through language. It’s not the fact that we can’t be optimistic about our goals, we should be, it’s just for some of us, we need to keep it to ourselves depending on the type of person we are. I’m sure by now, we’ve all done this. I, being the biggest culprit. Everyone’s different but some people are just not aware of this principle, and they wonder why they end up procrastinating on the task that they need to do. They end up thinking that they’re just flat out lazy which leads to self sabotaging behavior. You might want to explore this reasoning
I think it is definitely fine to tell someone about your plans, you just have to be careful and understand yourself at a deep level. If your the type of person that has your foot on the gas when it comes to taking action, then by all means, tell a friend. But if your the type of person that doesn’t walk the talk, it might be best to keep it to yourself. Personally, I think its good to have people that can hold you accountable for what you say, especially if they are a person of action. Those types of people are less tolerable to excuses that you make up when you don’t stick to the plan. Find someone you trust, so that they can roast you just in case you don’t do what you say. Social contracts can be very powerful. If you’re dishonest, especially to yourself, it is a reflection of you character. You are always keeping tabs to yourself, whether you’ve made an excuse, or you’ve followed through. Make sure its the latter